We all have those “friends.”
You know the ones.
Your birthday comes. Not a word. Holidays. Nada. You post good news. Nothing. You post about something you’re well aware is a mutual interest. Not a peep.
Then you post about something the two of you *DON’T* see eye to eye on.
Suddenly they’re all in your comments.
This means that when there are opportunities to have positive interactions, they scroll right past you, but the minute they disagree with you, they suddenly have the time to stop and ‘correct you.’
Folks, these are not your friends. These people do not like you.
If you’ve been following along, you know I have been SERIOUSLY reassessing my online presence lately — not only in the wake of my obnoxious Facebook incarceration — but in light of other things I’m realizing about the link between my internet life and my depression and anxiety.
I am known for being firey on Facebook, that’s for sure. But for the people I like, I try to be balanced. I attempt to be conscious of when I’m getting too harsh or getting to down on someone. I understand how little Facebook interactions can actually cause real world psychic harm. I try to make sure I put more positivity out than negativity.
And I like debates. I really do. I love arguing. But debating someone is only one side of a relationship. An entire relationship it does not make.
If I’m friends with someone, it’s because I like a lot more about them than just verbally sparring. And it’s important to me that they know that. It’s not so important to everyone out there though, and for those people, it’s time me and you both say “hit the road.”
It doesn’t matter if at one time you really enjoyed one another’s company. You don’t anymore. When you see a notification that they’ve commented on your status, you cringe. You don’t even have to read it yet. You know that it’s gonna be nasty.
We all should welcome being challenged. I want people to call me out, and appreciate those friends that do.
But if all your interactions with someone are negative, honey, they’re not your friend. That’s not keeping you honest or being real. That’s being mean.
Someone who treats you like this does not respect you, does not like you very much.
It’s time to cut them loose. Whatever initial reason for the friendship, it isn’t working anymore.
Maybe you’re hanging on in the hopes that things return to the way they used to be when you first connected and thought one another to be worth at least being Facebook friends, if not friends IRL.
It’s not going to come back though.
It’s not that you’re both so different. You probably still have a lot in common. But for some reason, you rub them the wrong way, and instead of dealing with that sanely and hiding or unfriending you themselves, they instead use you as a punching bag. Maybe they’re just a toxic person all the time. Or maybe they’re only this way with you. Either way it doesn’t matter.
You don’t deserve this. Let them go.
As you read this, you know some names are coming to mind. Stop what you’re doing right now, and go find those people and remove them from your Facebook friends list. Don’t hide them. Unfriend them.
Your life will be so much better off once you do.